h-apple ee to first base

I'm lonely, but happy.

The getting divorced TA called... We had lunch last Wed. He's still legally married, still occasionally sleeping in his ex-wife's house, and doesn't seem to have any plan to get out of that situation soon. I would say that I'm going to take this one a little slow. He's fun to talk to, although I doubt that he'll be spontaneous enough to be happy with me, and I'm intimidated by his brains. Apparently, dating someone who could crush you with his brains isn't as fun as it sounds.

I saw Keverton Saturday at the thanksgiving party. I really like spending time with him, but he's still got some shit to sort through.

I had a non-boy reason for writing in here...

Oh yeah. Well, it is completely a boy reason, actually. I read a blogger who said she wanted galoshes and got a kitten from her boyfriend. The kitten stays at her place while the boyfriend is out of town, so she is basically the sole owner. Fine, right? Except she hates cats. This is just one of many reasons I'm happy I'm single.

"I've never dated a guy who bought a piece of jewelry that I liked."

I was feeling emo so I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind this weekend. We love who we love; it's better to accept it and enjoy the ride. What does it tell you that none of my friends like the guys I decide I want to date?

all i want is my radio

So(r), I hate talking on the phone. I have a really hard time focusing on anything for more than 10 seconds, and that's all talking on the phone is. I'm also not a very verbal person (if i had a nickel every time someone told me to get to the point) so I have a hard time following the conversation and contributing my own words.

I'm transitioning out of my dominant role at work and into another one, so my company is going to be hiring someone else to pick up the remaining submit-ness. I happened to talk to a school buddy of mine who was looking for a job, so I asked him if he was interested. He was, I asked my boss about it, and Mr. Boss man is going to look at his resume. Today at lunch, my boss asked if my friend was a friend or more than a friend (this is the kind of office I work in). I said, "Oh, just a friend," and then thought maybe I'd answered too hastily, so I added in my best ghetto latina, "My boyfriends have to find their own jobs." Then I figured my boss probably wasn't used to hearing such a thing (scandal!), so I said again, for emphasis, "All my boyfriends." My boss looked very amused as he said, "I heard you... but I wasn't going to say anything." I hope that guy laughs a little after I leave the room, because I think holding it in like he does is going to make him crazy. He probably is just still figuring out when I'm messing around.

So, the project that I spent so much time on last week and was ruining my life and burying me under backwork, and I had to do so much new stuff that I'd never had to do before... Came back today with only 8 more changes to make. Sure, it'll probably take my whole morning tomorrow, but most of it is controls stuff, which is my favorite.

I was sad, though, when the electricals guy came and said, "If you have more changes to make to that project, give them to me... That project is pretty complicated." He's definitely right, but I was sad about giving up work. I know, I'm weird, huh?

Russ called me annoying today. That was pretty funny, since all yesterday afternoon he kept calling me and just pushing buttons on the phone and holding them until I hung up. Kehla says I need to quit that nonsense, but I think it's fun, and my whole office is a bunch of "smarties," as the nurse who was at work today to give flu shots commented. Hehe. I'm making Russ a mix cd, but I don't want to give it to him. Think about THAT. He got rid of all the little things I gave him, but I don't know what that means.

The parking garage at my office is a big cavern, and I like to sing in there when no one else is around. I walked out and immediately started singing, and there was a forklift operator walking in. He complimented me on my voice and said, "I know, too, I'm a musician!"

I headed out to the shop and was measuring the air velocity across some condenser coils (NERD!), and I was singing to myself (etta james is brilliant), and the one who wires the electricals yelled, "What are you DOING?" I whipped my head around, all ready to be chastised, because that guy is pretty picky, but he was laughing. Apparently most people don't sing to themselves while they work. Another guy grinned at me and said, "I admit it, I heard you, too." I sort of have a crush on that one. (bad idea bad idea bad idea)

The TA that I have so many hots for called me finally last Thursday, but he really only wanted to tell me he wasn't interested. I'm still in denial, I called him tonight to tell him I think it's silly for him not to be my friend just because he's getting divorced. I'm just disappointed because I wanted to tell him all about how I'm superpositioning my numbers on my condenser coil experiments. That's an inside joke that he probably won't get.

I called my friend (the one who might get a job at my place) and we were talking about how I'm an easy laugher, and he said how he likes talking to me because he feels like he's really funny, but then he tries to joke with someone else and they can't dig it, so he says, "Screw you, I'm going to go talk to Christy some more." I thought it was funny, so now I'm telling you about it.

The problem with blogs is that sometimes you forget there are all kinds of people who could be reading it.

Boystream

Hum, feeling very emo lately. There's lots of good stuff going on, though.

I'm transitioning out of my current job and into a different section (controls, whee!) I'm getting growing pains, though, figuring out electricals and trying to logic my way through controls in addition to my current job is a little much. And I've been getting shit on with revisions to do.

Last weekend, I went to a show with the guys from my old house. At the show, I saw my old TA from my favorite class at the U. I had so many hots for him at the time (mainly due to his gynormous brains), I couldn't resist going up to say hi. I walked up to him and two other people (sidenote: I'd heard that he was married and I didn't know if one of them was his wife), and said, "Hi!" He answered, his usual flatline, "Hello." I asked, "How are you?" He said, "Good," and went right back to talking about whatever he'd been talking about. I figured it was probably par for the course, and it was certainly possible (even likely) that I didn't make the same impression on him that he made on me, so I headed back to my friends.

Halfway through the show, he came over and chided me gently, saying I should have (could have?) come and talked to them. We talked and laughed through the rest of the show (not that I noticed after he came over to talk to me), and finally he left with the two people he'd been talking to earlier (she wasn't his wife, but his friend's). I turned to Josh and swooned. He encouraged me to ask for Mark's number (poor dear, how long will he wait in the wings?), so I ran down the stairs. I don't think he looked behind to see me, but somehow, his friends headed forward and he hung behind.

I said, "Umm, can I call you sometime?" and he answered, "Maybe?" I'm sure I must have looked dreadfully confused, and after a rather uncomfortable look from him, he said, "Well, I'm interested, but I'm going through a divorce, isn't that sort of a turn-off?" I felt immediately guilty for daring to feel rejected, and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" I thought about it a minute more, and said, "Well... Maybe we could start as friends, and see where it goes from there."

We exchanged numbers, and he complimented me on mine ("that's a cool number" heh, nerds are awesome), calling me a smart girl (eep! eep! dinosaur ta called me smart!). I called him two days later (two days now past), and he hasn't called back. I'm doing my best not to be too disappointed. Truthfully, he's not really even a human in my mind, the same way that Jonny wasn't (sorry, reference new readers won't get). Having such unrealistic expectations of him probably wouldn't work for either of us.

I'm the sort of person who can't leave well enough alone, but since I barely managed to call him in the first place (I sat there for 5 minutes with my thumb on the "send" button, saying to myself, "come on, christy, you can do it."), and then I left a voicemail talking about laundry (LAUNDRY!), I don't think I'll call him again.

This is the email I've been refining in my head the last two days:

Subject line: Being Introverted

...means taking two days to realise that what I should have said was, "Not as much of a turn off as still being married!" I'm doing my best not to read into the lack of response, since you probably just decided you weren't quite ready to move on from your marriage yet. I haven't experienced it, but I'm sure it's quite difficult. Just so you know, the explanation gets easier with time. Never been divorced, but have had some skeletons of my own over the years. Please call if you change your mind, but make it sooner than later, I can't make promises, though I wish I could.

I wish you all the best and it was really wonderful seeing you last weekend.

Christy

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Hope your halloween was excellent.