Mystery men

I'm all kinds of crazied up because I called Russ last night and he never called me back. Granted, I called sort of late so maybe he thought I was just crazy? I have no idea. But I feel like he isn't attracted to me anymore, or maybe I'm not attracted to him anymore (ok, we all know that's not true) or maybe I'm just in a sort of funk after the fucked up shit that happened with Nate last week.

SO, I'm frustrated because I think his actions are terribly confusing and why is all this shit so confusing? And I think that if he liked me, I wouldn't be so confused but there seems to be an awful lot to be confused about, even if he did like me. Which I don't think he does.

But then he came over and interrogated me about some guy who gave me a fork wrapped in tinfoil (and, why the hell would he care if he weren't a little jealous?) which is so stupid because I'm not attracted to that guy in the slightest, although I'm a little jealous of how everyone is all comfortable with him and I get treated funny because I'm a GIRL. I never realised how hard it is to be one of only a few girls in the office.

Also, I don't laugh at Russ' jokes the way I laugh at everyone else's because I'm so freaked out by his presence so he thinks I like other guys, apparently. Why is this shit so complicated?

Also, I suck at ironing. It's a good thing I'm a feminist, because I would make a really lousy homemaker.

Also, aren't boy-neuroses fun? I think I come up with my best material when I'm crazied up over a boy.