Banshee in my blood

Because the only thing better than being in trouble is being in big trouble, I asked Russ out last night. He said yes, and we now have plans to drink a beer together Wed. If I said that I was freaking out a bit, I would be making my biggest understatement yet. It's a very strange feeling; I'm vacillating between freaking out and talking myself out of calling and cancelling, and freaking out and talking myself out of fantasizing extended sexual encounters with him.

Oh, yes, I'm definitely in trouble.

I didn't call him once today, which I don't think I've done since maybe week 2. Freaked out as I am about even contemplating having an inter-office romance (and besides the hourly employees that I made out with when I was in LA, I've really never had one), I'm more freaked out by the possibility of my boss figuring out what's going on and firing one or both of us. I'm sure it doesn't help that I can't find my employee handbook anywhere and I don't know if the contract I signed explicitly forbids dating or not. Ok, I just found it and they don't say anything about inter-office dating.

So... The reason I decided to make such a potentially self-destructive move: on Friday, I called Russ to ask him a question on one of my projects. He picked that time to tell me to call someone else, to press me into admitting that I just call him to talk to him (which is true, of course, but i'm certainly not going to admit it over his speakerphone) and I was sorta crazied up (Friday afternoon at a job like mine, and you would be, too) so I mumbled, "You're not the boss of me." and he replied, "Yes, I am!" so I said, "No, you really aren't." and he said, "Not even for the afternoon?" in this wheedling voice. And, holy shit, being bossed around is one of my biggest turn-ons, and Russ is one of my biggest turn-ons, so that was the end of it, basically. I called him yesterday and asked if he wanted to go for a beer sometime, and he answered with, "When?" The answer: Wednesday.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! After we got off the phone, I rolled around on the floor, shrieking. I have the self-control of a Buddhist.