Mental Diarrhea

I can't seem to keep myself to writing carefully constructed posts, so you get random thoughts today:

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It's hard to be immature and work in my industry. Just one example of many double entendre'd phrases: jackshaft.

(mm, jackshaft)

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I have a confession to make: I bought the Beatles' White Album solely because a guy I had a crush on said it was his favorite (this was a long time ago, but i'll admit to still having a bit of a crush). I still like Abbey Road the best. (although, oh jeez, i always forget about sergeant pepper's lonely hearts club band! did you know that was supposed to be dr. peppers, but pepsico threatened to sue?)

On a related note, my favorite song with a hammond organ in it is "I Want You (She's So Heavy)."

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Among my random recollections of the week, wearing a thong to work on Tuesday reminded me of my best friend in middle school sharing her first experience wearing a thong.

I was, as mentioned before, a repressed (or at least very sheltered, but i did start masturbating --not knowing what it was-- when I was 9) young Catholic, and I thought thongs were sandals. (heh)

She commented, "You'd think they'd be uncomfortable sitting in your asscrack like they do, but normal panties just ride right up in there anyway."

I stopped being friends with her in 10th grade, after she told a boy that I'd just broken up with that I'd done so because I liked someone else. In hindsight, I would have probably learned some good things (like practical joking and the art of comeback... get your head out of the gutter) if we'd stayed friends. Then again, I might have also ended up dropping out of high school like she did.

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I showed my hot sexy bitch friend Kehla my shiny new website and said that you had to go to christymonster.com/blog to get to my blog. She asked what was on my main page, and I said a picture of myself. She sounded interested when she said, "Oh, like a splashpage?"

Uh, yeah.... JUST like a splashpage.

(also, i have a new picture, but my ftp place is wonked out, so i can't post it just yet)

My statement on my entry page is this: "Fuck you, HTML!" In all honesty, I could code something that at least looks presentable, but I'm just too damn lazy.

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There's a woman at work who's kind of sucking my will to live right now. It'll be better when I'm done with the project I have with her, and it's almost done. I have a very hard time comprehending how someone can work in a position for 5 years and still not know the answer to the most basic of questions. And it's terrifying to realize how much she expects me to know. I wanna be all, "Whaaaugh! It's only my second week!"

The best part about my job is that I can listen to SO MUCH music while I work. Yesterday, I was hating 8am, but then I put on my CD player, and Isaac Hayes started singing to me, and it was all better.

The second-best part of work is the nerds. Nerdy guys are so cute, I just want to squish them! I totally caught a couple of them laughing at an SQL joke or some shit, all rocking back and forth and nose-crinkly! They're not actually attractive, but SO CUTE!

The guy that I knew way back in the day (we had intro to ME together) was in Vegas today and yesterday, and he's back tomorrow. It's a good thing he left for a bit, though, there were rumours starting over how I ask him all my questions (these rumours will probably follow me to whatever job i have ever again ever. i'm too much of a flirt for my own good). Pout, I'm just shy! Yes, I do realize that "shy flirt" is an oxymoron. I care not.

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If my hair was just 2 inches longer, I think it might be perfect.

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I totally have the hots for She Wants Revenge's song "I Want to Tear You Apart." I don't care if they are commercial radio, or a cheap imitation of Interpol. Dark love songs, they rule.

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart

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I had a magnificent fantasy yesterday about living with Ally and doing something to upset him and having him come home with a crop. Yummy!

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I should really be flattered when guys with a lot of attractive female friends want to be my friend, but it wigs me out a bit. Boys are scary!

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My goal for this blog is for at least one reader to say, "Oh, no, you di'nt!" to the screen at something I've said. Darlings, it's all true.

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I realized today why my sore quadriceps have been so excruciatingly painful. It's because I have so much fat in my thighs that it jiggles my muscles way more than is necessary or comfortable. So gross.

When I was 14, my boyfriend could circle my waste (hahahahahaha, i'm leaving that awesome freudian typo) with two hands easily. Stupid woman-making hormones. (confid to my woman-making hormones: thanks for the tits.)

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I don't love you to death
But I'd die if you left

(Beulah's "Night is the Day Turned Inside Out." Nobody knows which exit is yours.)